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Maybe you should make that into a post...

What, you mean how to witness?

Yes. It would be a very good lesson that i hope would go viral
It was one of the things that you did that left a very heavy impression on me
It told me that in there, in spite of anything else, was an extremely wise person, one with whom I should at all costs develop a relationship

How did it tell you that?

Because defining witnessing says that we can care and still have good boundaries. we can not know what to do and still respond, we can not know what to say, and still care.
It's an uplifting message without the saccharine. it's perfect for autistic people and something NTs should learn.
It would eliminate a lot of phony sympathy.

I've been trying to tell myself that even if people aren't responding to stuff I write, they're probably still reading it, and so I should feel seen, but I don't.
But just like one comment that said nothing except that they'd read it, in whatever words, would mean something.

And that is what you should say.

How do guys do it? Can you want witnessing and still be a guy?

Yes. They make noises. And mostly say things like, "shit, man." and, "Yup."

Yeah see that works too, that's good too. That's still response.




( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 26th, 2012 11:37 pm (UTC)
This reminds me of stuff I've read in my books about spirituality. Like how really the best "gift" you can give someone else sometimes is to simply allow them the space and silence to be in that very moment. Even though the vocabulary seems to be a little different, like using the term "witnessing" which I'd never necessarily used like that before, it seems like the same idea :)
Feb. 28th, 2012 06:29 pm (UTC)
I think it's found in a lot of places. Different languages, similar concept.
Feb. 27th, 2012 02:38 am (UTC)
Feb. 28th, 2012 06:28 pm (UTC)
Feb. 27th, 2012 02:00 pm (UTC)
There was a guy I knew named Bubba (yes, this was his real name, it was Texas, people are named Bubba down there) who was fond of nodding and saying, "I hear that."

I find myself doing it too now. Because sometimes, there really isn't much more you CAN do that's not worse than nothing.

I know we aren't as active online as we used to be. Sorry about that.

Feb. 28th, 2012 06:28 pm (UTC)
S'ok. People come and go. Hope you're well, regardless.
Feb. 28th, 2012 10:26 am (UTC)
yeah "I hear that" I know some online people who say that too. Or "I hear you"

I hear that.

I hear you.

Feb. 28th, 2012 06:26 pm (UTC)
...Heya. Glad you're there.
Feb. 28th, 2012 04:14 pm (UTC)
I read everything you post. WItnessed.
Feb. 28th, 2012 06:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :/
Mar. 5th, 2012 10:47 pm (UTC)
Yup. Good concept. One I've learned from you. Allowing someone to be in their feelings and not take it away from them.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )